weeds inspired sentence meme ( some nsfw )

trashwitchrps:

• “You stuck your penis in her. That’s not love, believe me.”
• “We need to go somewhere where we can get very, very drunk.”
• “I’m not sure a vagina would be any kind of improvement for you.”
• “Oh, we do not joke about our Lord Jesus Christ.”
• “I’m not gonna cap any motherfuckers.”
• “Do what you do best. Patrol the couch in your underwear.”
• “Both of us make people really uncomfortable. There’s no way around it.”
• “We’re all like one big, wonderful, dysfunctional family, and I love you guys.”
• “I’m sorry for judging your lifestyle choice.”
• “That was a special occasion… You got shot.”
• “Does it always have to be about you?”
• “You’ve made your bed, now fuck in it.”
• “Let your freak flag fly.”
• “That’s why I’ll never marry.”
• “Don’t look at me, I’m fucked up on corn bread.”
• “Well, that’s what we do, we fuck up. And then we try to fix it and we fuck it up some more.”
• “No, no, I’m not a taker of sides. I float in the ambiguous middle ground.”
• “Now let’s have angry sex on the kitchen counter.”
• “These are well-connected members of high society. They do coke.”
• “I’ve seen that show Life After People. This will all be reclaimed by the Earth soon enough. All swap and moss, weird looking birds.”
• “Why is your apartment weird and full of danger?”
• “I can be a real person. I can. I’ve been one before. It was… good.”
• “Did Mister Freaky Shoes do that to you?”
• “Dead hoes tell no tales.”
• “My whole childhood is a lie.”
• “Guess I’m not so good at this undercover thing.”
• “The trouble is all behind us.”
• “Nobody’s here if they have anyplace better to be. This is the end of the road.”
• “I’m good with babies. They see me as a kindred spirit slash taller version of themselves.”
• “I have a history of killing anything that could conceivably work out.”
• “F - you failed - you get an F.”
• “I’m always ready to flea. You should know that.”
• “Fortunately, my body is a toxic pit.”